Disingenuous Relationships

STUDIO 48 – Isn’t it funny how when you first meet someone, especially someone who you might develop romantic feelings for, you tend to over-analyze everything you do, say, and even think? By acting like this, you prohibit yourself from acting like... well... yourself. I think that if you are with a girl that you are uncomfortable being yourself around, or worse yet, strive to be something other than yourself around, then you are in a bad relationship. I’m not saying that trying to be a better person is a bad thing or that we shouldn’t strive to be better for someone of whom you have developed feelings for. If there is one quality that everyone (male, female, Black White, Hispanic, Asian, gay, strait) is looking for in their relationships and from those that they are in relationships with, then it is authenticity. Even if you can’t admit it, you don’t want to be with someone who will not be genuine to you. If two people are have feelings for one another, yet are not genuine with one another, then how do they know that they really have feelings for one another and not for the alias created by their significant other? The answer, in short, is that they don’t.

Those of you who are very close to me know that recent events in lives of a few people close to me have prompted the venting in the particular Blog. It really pisses me off when people try to baby me and treat me like less of a man because I have been more particular about who I have dated this school year. Don’t say things to your new girlfriend like “Don’t touch Matt (editor’s note: this was said after a birthday wish and light shoulder pat from said girlfriend), he hasn’t had a girlfriend in five months, he might get aroused”. That is asinine! In fact, just recounting that event from 24 hours ago is getting me all stirred up again. What kind of friend says something like that to a friend in front of a girl? That is a question I am definitely going to have to do some pondering on over the next few weeks.

Sure, there was a time in my life that I would go out with any girl and every girl, especially if she was cute. Call it a tug from the conscience, or call it general maturation, or call it a new found respect for the dating relationship and how God wants me to pursue it, but this year has been different. I have been wiser. It was not a lack in opportunities, in fact their have been several. However, I was able to look at the big picture and ... God forbid!... think about the future over the present. Even though things have been kinda rough, I have learned so much about myself and my purpose by not being with anyone for an extended period of time. I know that this time is coming to a close and that I will be all the better for enduring and staying true to it. In short, I will not date anyone that I honestly can’t see a future with. It is a waste of both of our times.

Life goes on. I have dwelled on this stuff long enough. Thank you all for listening to me complain and moan about all this, I’ll try to make the next entry about something a little more uplifting and positive. I can’t promise too much, but I will say that in all likelihood a meadow and a Karen Carpenter song will be involved.

More to come.......