Nostalgic, but why?

STUDIO 48 -- Its two days into my sixth semester at THE University of Georgia and I’m struggling big-time. I don’t think I’m depressed, but I feel kinda like I assume a person who is depressed would feel. (Stream on Consciousness: I’m watching the UK/Vandy basketball game on ESPN and a Vandy player definitely just drug his pivot foot and got away with it. Dang those SEC officials!) I just haven’t felt like myself lately. It’s like I’m wearing really heavy clothing and its just weighing me down. I’m having trouble motivating myself to do anything. The beginning of a semester is not a good time to have motivation issues. I don’t think this feeling of drowsiness or sluggishness can be attributed to any one thing. I mean: All-in-all my life is really good right now and to be honest, always has been.
I guess my ongoing fiasco with the Speech Com department and OASIS is a big contributor. This thing could cause me to be here an additional semester which isn’t always a bad thing, but it is really working my nerves.
I might also be experiencing college football withdrawals. I love the sport of basketball as a whole more than football. But my team has always and will always be the Dawgs on a Saturday afternoon ‘betwixt the hedges’. Not that I’m counting or anything, but it is only 234 days until kickoff.
This semester is going to be a bear. There is no sign of relaxation for the next four months. I’m ok with this under normal easy-going circumstances, but this is not the best time and it is contributing to my gloom.
I guess the fact that all my friends are maturing and thinking about the future and have a general direction for their lives is also reminding me that I am not thinking about the future and have no general direction for my life, especially my life after college. One room mate is engaged (big-time). Another is in a serious relationship that quite frankly makes me sick to my stomach. They seem unable to spend more than twelve consecutive minutes apart and no more than three minutes without calling or text messaging one another. Friends from back home are making ill-advised decisions involving women and their future with them. Steven, my go-to-guy when it comes to “be single and enjoy it” has taken up a serious girlfriend for the first time since we became friends some five years ago. Lobert Rundy is dating a girl that by all accounts is “The kind of girl you marry, not just the kind you date.” What happened to the good ole days when Lobert couldn’t go more than thirty seconds without double-taking an attractive female he would see on campus and I was considered the level-headed one when it came to women? I’m not questioning where I am because I know that it will all work out, but it is very hard not to settle when everyone else seems to be “settling down.” I’m not ready to settle down, but I would like a real date with someone that I consider to be a candidate for something more serious than a glorified fling. It is not that far off. (Stream on Consciousness: UK has made an amazing comeback and has cut Vandy’s lead to two points. Both teams appear to be scary and will, in all likelihood, beat the starch out of Georgia and we have to play each of them twice.)
I’m trying to be positive through this “slump” in my life, but it is hard. My closet friends don’t have time for me because, all at the same time, they have all made commitments of some degree and substance. Isn’t it funny how when you are in a position to make a commitment with someone, you baulk and act distant and aloof and when you think you are most in a position to make a commitment, there is no one in your life to commit to? (Stream on Consciousness: UK has taken the lead 42-41 with 5:30 to play. Now 43-42, Vandy with 5:00 to play.)
I’ll pull through this and I know that I need to suck it up and quit whining because these problems aren’t real problems but simply ones that I have let become problems in my head. I need to quit acting like a female, but I don’t want to. I want to curl up on the couch with a half-pint of Edy’s Cookies and Cream and watch Dirty Dancing. LOL J Just kidding! (Except the part about the ice cream, because that sounds really good right about now.)

In other news...
I’m putting the finishing touches on a devotion that I am leading at my home church this Sunday. It has been a long time, but I am really looking forward to standing in front of a crowd again. I hope I don’t suck. I think I am going to speak (ironically enough) about patiently waiting on God and his will. Maybe I should read the scripture and practice what I preach... literally.

More to come later, but for now I’m going to hit up that ice cream.......