GAINES-VEGAS – Just to let you all know, I’m actually posting this from the Studio, but I wrote it at home, so that’s why it says “Gaines-Vegas” in the header.
I came home this weekend for three reasons, but gained alot more.
One) To watch my youngest brother play basketball. It was fun... I got to catch two games and see him do pretty well. I did realize that somewhere along the way, I forgot to teach my brother at least everything that I know about basketball. I think that that is why God puts some of us in the position of older sibling: to teach the younger siblings everything that you had to learn for yourself so that they can spend their time learning other lessons. I feel like, on the whole, I’ve done a good job as an older brother, but I found at least one area where I fell short. Sure, its just basketball. It’s not like I didn’t teach him how to pick up girls like his older brother (yeah right!) or anything important like that.
On a side note: I found a place where I am very happy...... sitting in the Jacuzzi with a tall glass of cherry-coke watching college basketball. The trip home was worth it just for that.
Two) This is my last chance to really go home for quite some time. With the upcoming basketball band tournament trips around this great nation, who knows when my next free weekend might be? So I took this chance and it was good. I didn’t get to go to church this morning because I felt like I needed to work on my Speech Communication paper that is due in.... 15 hours now. That was a downer, but I am really trying to put school at least closer to the top of my list of priorities. God will forgive me this once.
Three) I really needed to talk to my parents (especially my dad) about my strategy for graduation. It turns out that this major that I thought would be fairly easy is not so much. In order to graduate next spring like I am supposed to, I would need to take 18 and 17 hours respectively next fall and spring. It seems like a good way to kill an already suffering GPA. I am completely ready to sacrifice this summer in order to get back on track, but I wanted to tell them why and not just leave them thinking that I was like moving out forever (which, I guess I kinda have... Hmmm). So I’ve been asking around and there are enough people staying in Athens this summer that I wouldn’t be completely alone, but it will be hard sacrificing time with my friends that don’t go to school here and those lake days. But its not worth staying in school an extra semester and finding new room mates just for like two classes. So I have decided that I am going to go to summer school this summer or next summer so that I won’t be here for a fifth year with no place to live. However, that fifth football season is kinda appealing.
I realized along the way that I am once again choosing not to think about the future or commit to anything. I’m not afraid of commitment, I just haven’t found anything (or anyone) that I feel deserves my commitment (that sounds like I’m really full of myself, but... oh well). Only God knows where I will be in a year and a half. What will I be doing? Who will I spend time with? All my closest friends are on the fast track to marriage. I’m not. It’s not that I wouldn’t join up if I found the right girl, but I haven’t. It’s a little scary, but I’m not afraid of being alone. So then I thought... why be afraid of something that you aren’t scared of? That doesn’t make any since. I know that God has plans for me that are better than the plans I have for myself. So why rush into something and hope that it is what He has waiting for me? It makes more since to wait for him. But that gets difficult. I’m not afraid of being alone, but I am afraid of the unknown. So I guess I just assume that if I knew that I wasn’t going to be alone, then I wouldn’t be as afraid of the unknown. But that is not how God’s plan works. You have to trust him. That is something I really need to work on........